I got an email from Ryan asking if I’d write a guest post about anything for the relaunch of his blog. Anything? That’s a lot of things… and I’m an opportunist, so I figured I’d write about how my kid’s school has it all wrong in a place they are unlikely to read.

Just this year the administrators at my son and daughter’s K-8 private school added an icon to their email signature “Fan us on Facebook”.

No. Fanning the school that your children currently attend is a terrible idea in about 83 bajillion ways. Let me outline the first six reasons.

1. Although you are a parent the school is not your place. If it’s a private school then it’s a place you send checks to, if it’s a public school it’s probably a place you send checks to as well. That’s all it needs to be. If your child’s school brings you enough joy that you want to share that with every other adult you know on Facebook an intervention may be in order.
2. Your children are entitled to their own lives. They don’t need their great aunt’s quilting circle to be kept abreast of school activities via a shared timeline. Imagine if your child had a facebook timeline completely devoted to your activities… creepy huh?
3. Strangers just got access to your kids. I’m not super worried about pedophiles and kidnappers the same way I’m not super worried about home invasions. All the same, I lock the door. If you are friends with your children on facebook (why would you be?) then you’ve just showed all those friends of friends where your children go to school and what their schedules are. Do you want the world to have that information? [EDIT: Between writing and editing this post I came across a headline in my back yard: Man, 19, charged with sexually assaulting 14 girls; allegedly hunted victims through Facebook]
4. Your friends who are childless will loathe you even more. I love my kids but I often get the sense that they are very in the way for my single friends. Now I’m going to have the pancake breakfast showing up on my Facebook timeline? Moms, you’re losing friends because your children’s activities are a snore-fest. Get your own life (and see #2).
5. Do school administrators need access to your timeline? Is there any part of your life that can remain adult after having children? I understand that for most of us important friendships are forged with other parents of our school aged children so it might be tempting to fan the school on Facebook. However, don’t you ever just want to say something like, “My daughter’s knitting teacher is an idiot” and have no repercussions? Get ready to put on your game face if you’re busy connecting with the social on your social networks.
6. Think about how Facebook can help an elementary school without overexposing it’s students. If, like me, you think it probably can’t then that’s a damn good reason to stay far away from what will surely be a big mess.

Jessica Gottlieb is a Mom in Los Angeles. You probably shouldn’t take any of her advice.